23 May - Take Off All Your Clothes

A bit of a non-day so here's a bit about Cusco. The city is centered around the Plaza de Armas which in turn is centered on gringo tourists. Except for the 2 magnificent churches the plaza is completely surrounded by restaurants, cafes and tourist agencies on both the upper and lower levels. One corner is home to the gringo clubs. In an attempt to extract as much cash as possible from tourists the clubs are even open in the afternoon but with different slant. They are kitted out with projectors and DVD players and openly advertise (with flyers) and invite everyone in to watch the latest Cinema releases, downloaded fresh from the Internet - for free! They only mandate you buy a drink or something whilst you watch it. Being a club, obviously the sound system rocks! Wanting to give it a try Sean, Monika & I rock up and watch Apocolyto, a Mel Gibson film about the Mayan race, some pre-Inca tribe in the jungle. Knowing what I know about the jungle, it's quite authentic. The film is good but not great.

The plaza, being centred on gringos as it is, is also full of touts. Every minute you're harassed by people wanting to shoe shine your flip flops, sell you postcards, sweets, cigarettes, drag you into their restaurant, club or, as seems to be most popular, young girls wanting to give you a massage. Still thinking of Isabella I give in to a massage ('cos she often liked a massage see!). Though not certain of the authenticity and professionalism of the girls on offer I needed some Dutch courage before asking for one, 30 sols (£5) for 1 hour.

The girl I picked worked for "Inka Massage" and led me upstairs to a small room partition complete with mild candle lighting, electric heater, bed / stretcher table and soft music. She asked me to get ready and closed the partition. I took off my shoes and top and waited. On her return she laughed and shrieked, "No, todo ropa! Todo ropa! Take off all your clothes!" and promptly left again. Um, so I did and saved my modesty with one of the towels on the bed. On her return I was subjected to an all over body massage. An amateur compared to the surgical technician of Buenos Aires it must be said, but good none the less. There's something about an attractive young girl rubbing her oily hands all around your inner thighs that turns your thoughts to one thing, "Dead puppies, dead puppies, dead puppies..." About the only parts that were not massaged were the stomache, chest and pectorals. I'm not sure why that is. Lots of attention was placed on the calfs and legs which I assume would suit people fresh off the Inka trail. I left feeling, well, rather chilled!

Having been at altitude (say 2,500 m) for over a month and a half now (Cusco's at 3,400 m), I feel like I'm stuck in a perpetual winter. It never gets that warm during the day and it's always cold and chilly at night. It almost makes me wish I was back for summer in the UK!

I also must mention that, in general, Peruvian girls in Cusco are beautiful. Cusco has the highest concentration of gorgeous girls of any city I've ever been to. It's a visual feast. I have no desire to leave anytime soon!