Update

News in brief...

• Climbed Machi Picchu & Waynupicchu & the Temple of the Moon.
• Went White Water Rafting for 3 days, class 3 & 4.
• Toothpaste ran out.
• Bought a ticket back to the UK (hoping to arrive on 5th July but with 4 flights over 2 days, who knows!).
• Determined that party life in Cusco, Peru is bad for ones health.
• Am going on a 2 week White Water Rafting Expedition in the Cotahuasi canyon. 100 miles of continuous Grade 4 with a couple of Grade 5 plus thrown in for good measure.
• So no contact for 2 weeks!

See you all soon!

Steve.

1 Jun - Top Bar

I wake up still wheezing and snotty and my muscles feeling like I'd just attempted a Everest summit. I'm not getting any better and leave for the Machu Picchu trek tomorrow. Time for re-enforcements, time for anti-biotics! I break out the Amoxycillin kindly donated to me from Eug. Then it's to the Bolivian Saltenas place for brekkie and a x3 treat!

Back to the Top Coffee Bar for more journal writing and more top coffee! I note that the waitress brings "everything" over to your table on a tray, hoisted high. Even if it's just a single item, like a bottle of beer. At first I thought it was a little silly and over the top but then I noted that her little strut over in short skirt and high heels also looked rather sexy! Hmm... So for the benefit of the reader I decided to stay a little longer and order more stuff. As the time ran into early evening the volume rose and they projected a Robbie Williams music DVD onto the wall in front.

And then I saw it, hanging off the wall, beaming its tantalising ray of hope right at me... a bar mat for Old Speckled Hen! Woah! And next to it bar mats for Abbot Ale and Greene King IPA! I immediately call the waitress over. Just think, real English Ale, here in Cusco! Boy, it's been sooooo long! In my bestest Spanglish I enquire about the Old Speckled Hen. She understands nothing but brings me a beer menu instead. All 3 beers are available in bottle and cans. Stuffing the Spanglish, I just point at the bottle of Old Speckled Hen on the menu, my Spanish sucks anyway. She walks away but struts back empty handed. "No tengo Old Speckled Hen." Bollocks. My hopes dashed, my heart broken. I reason to myself that Abbot Ale is not a bad brew. She walks away again but again struts back empty handed. As saucy as she is, she's trying my patience. "Tengo solo Greene King IPA en lata." Bollocks. Greene King IPA is a sorry excuse for a beer at the best of times, but in a can, literally transported half way around the world... No Thanks. I plum for a local fresh Cusquena malt beer instead. I enjoy the beer. I reason the antibiotics are working and I'm getting better.

I eat at an overpriced Mexican tourist restaurant simply because Sean & Monika aren't around and I can! Back at the hospedaje I change rooms again. I have no idea why but it keeps Carlos the owner happy. I pack for the trek, pop more pills and have an early night.

31 May - Top Coffee

I lie into 12:00, wheezing, snotty and with stiff muscles. I get up and head out for a Saltenas breakfast at the usual. The waitress knows me and my order; 2 x Saltenas and an Inca Cola. A busker comes in and starts playing. In the Gringo restaurants buskers come in and play traditional Adean music. I note that here in a local restaurant the busker plays The Beatles and other Gringo music I recognise!

I pay off the rest of my Salkantay trek at X-Treme, who came recommended by Sean & Monika as that's who they did their Machu Picchu trek with.

I go back to Top Coffee Bar. I never ventured in last time but I think Sean and Mark were correct, in the evenings it may well be more than a cafe. Again the waitress is decked out in a very short mini-skirt. I assume it's part of the uniform. On one wall it was larger than life posters of seductive strippers. In the middle of the venue it has a shiny aluminium stage / mini cat walk with seats around it. I write my journal over a coffee or two. It is indeed Top Coffee - the best I've had in Cusco! An espresso shot served in a tiny cup of hot milk. Hmmm...

Dinner was back at the Japanese restaurant. The food was mighty tasty once again although I did trap a couple of cockroaches under various cups and plates and waited for the waitress to clear up. The ensuing squeals as they wriggled free across the table told me she was not too amused! Bed for 22:30.

30 May - No More S & M

I sleep in until 12:30. I'm ill. I've got a cold. Regardless I meet up with Sean & Monika and we watch Shrek 3 at Mythology. It's not that great. I think I only chuckled twice. Later I book my alternative trek to Machu Picchu for Saturday, the Salkantay 5 day trek. It's a day longer than the fully booked classic trek and is supposed to have more spectacular scenery. That means I've got 2 ½ days to get better and shun the cold.

It's Sean & Monika's last night in Cusco so after a few hours kip I meet them and Isabelle at their pad for 20:00. The suggested bars are either too expensive, too smoky or too far away, so instead we stay in, watch TV and share 1 bottle of wine between us all. But hey, I was really ill anyway and as the night wore on watching Magnolia I felt a sore throat encroach and grace my health. Bollocks. After being accused of being quiet all night we said our good byes and I headed home. Bed for 00:30.

A tribute to Sean & Monika, or as I refer to them, S & M:
1st man, "Do you practise S & M?"
2nd man, "Sure I do, my wife Sleeps and I Masturbate!"
Cheers Isi!

P.S. As an aside, I was also contacted by a best mate (Stephen Young) from Primary school on FaceBook!

29 May - Paragliding

Up and at the plaza for 09:15. We're only being picked up at 09:30 but Sean wanted time to come and wake me if I wasn't there. My non-appearance at White Water Rafting still fresh in his head. Our main man, Richard, is a bit of a beardy hippie but knows his stuff. He seems to be the most experienced and the all knowing sage when it comes to Paragliding in Cusco. He's the one top super models fly with and the Army gets to do show piece fly-ins. One story he tells is that he lands in Plaza de Armas, as personally asked by the Commander in Chief of the Peruvian Army, and takes part in a grand military parade. He then gets arrested by the Police, whilst in the parade, for not having the correct paperwork for landing there! Like it's a common form you pick up at the post office! Luckily the Army bailed him out after just the one night in jail!

In the truck with Sean and I were 2 guys with their own gear. One was Swiss and the other, a bald headed egotist with a non-descript gringo accent called Matt. At the launch site, a short run up to a cliff, other paragliders and customers were all lining up. We watched as one launch went horribly wrong and the instructor and client almost got dragged haphazardly over the cliff. Richard shook his head asserting his authority on the field, "Well, that's what you get for paying 10 bucks less."

Richard and his helper laid out our canopy on the ground, "Right, the lightest and most hungover goes first." I raise my hand, still feeling worse for wear, "I guess that's me then!" "Relax, chill for a bit. We're not going yet." So we do and watch several Israeli girlies take off. Then after a seemingly indiscriminate amount of time, "Suit up, we're going!" Why now? I had no idea. Maybe the land warmed up a bit, or some clouds disappeared or the wind changed direction. What ever it was it seemed to work. The chute went straight up and so did we. A few minutes of circulating later and we were higher than the mountain we started half way up from!

Richard looks down, notes the other paragliders way below and remarks, "We sure smoked those other guys, eh!" There is no denying that we did. The ride was a smooth flight into the skies. With the whole of the Sacred Valley laid out before you, taking photographs was difficult for there was no focal point for the pictures. Just vast landscapes. But take many I did regardless.

We caught thermals and rose so high we had to spiral down to Earth to land. So much so we inverted the canopy! We landed with a bit of a thump but the helper was nearby to drive us back to the launch site where it was Sean's turn. He too went straight up but claimed to have more of a bumpy ride. He felt nauseous. Richard told him to say when he was going to throw up, for there's a special position he puts him in so he misses all the equipment! Paragliding, $80 for ½ hour. It's no adrenaline rush but it's good fun and the views are simply spectacular.

When we get back to town I'm still wasted so I head back to bed for a few hours. For some reason I had to change rooms first (if only I spoke Spanish!). Later I follow a treasure trail of notes (because I turn up late) to find Sean & Monika at a Japanese restaurant, Kintaro. The Triyaki chicken was fantastic! Back to bed for 23:00.

28 May - Bed

I spend most of the day in bed and meet up with Sean for 21:30. We need to make phone calls for final arrangements for paragliding tomorrow. The calls are made and it's sorted, we're on! We then meet Chris and Monika for dessert at the Swiss restaurant. I say my farewells to Chris and head back to the Hospedaje. I'm still shattered an need sleep. Another guy, Stephan from Switzerland, had moved into my dorm room for the night. He's just about to go out. I recommend Mamma Africas and wish him luck.

27 May - Panic Attack

I rise late. Surprise, surprise and meet Sean & Monika at the Plaza. They're not in a mood to do anything and in my hungover state, nor am I. So we watch a film in one of the clubs. We pick, "Thank You for Smoking" at X-trem. We were the only ones there and sat on sofas in front of the projector. It's like having your own personal cinema- which I guess it was! The film is great by the way, and well worth watching. One can learn a lot from it.

Later we have dinner at Cafe Ritual. I'm waiting for an invitation to dancing from Rudeba but as the evening progresses I resign myself to the idea that I'm being ignored. She's had a change of heart. Ack, oh well. Later we meet Isabelle at her Charity restaurant, drink giant Pisco Sours and play Jenga. I lost once during a freak incident at the start of a game. Chris and I join Isabelle and her mates as they head out. First to Up Town for a quick drink and then to Mythology. I'm not in the mood for dancing or drinking - I think I'm coming down with a cold. Though when the beat turns more techno I do manage a little jiggle on the dance floor.

It's Chris' last night in Cusco and he's dying to see his stripper. So once again I'm persuaded to discard my morals and take him to Casanovas. Only it's closed so instead we head to the local clubs on Calle Belen, where I was last night. We pick the "American Disco" which definitely isn't! It's very similar to the place I was at last night, a small dingy basement club with an over sized sound system and strobes going like the clappers. The place is dead and largely empty - even if you count the various comatose individuals passed out on tables. We resign ourselves that being Sunday night, every where's going to be similar. Using his deft skills in Espanol Chris gets chatting to a waitress. Not possessing any skills in Espanol I drink beer. Until that is, I become part of the conversation.

"What's your name?"
"Steve."
"How old are you?"
"27(!)"
"Are you married?"
"No."
"Do you have a girlfriend?"
"No"
"Why not? What's wrong with you?"
"Um..."

That last question sure stumped me for I didn't really know the answer myself. Several responses came to mind including comments about lying, deceitful, cheating, slutty ex-girlfriends but I plumbed for, "Because I'm stupid and ugly!" instead. Chris kindly translated that into, "Because he hasn't met the right woman yet."

Chris then motions to another waitress, "Do you like her?" "Yes!" I reply. She was slender, very attractive and I'd been watching her perform several amazing dances on the floor in between serving people. A few words were said between several people and in the next moment she's stood in front of me. "You can dance with her if you want." She was really pretty and obviously didn't speak any English. Any conversation was out of the question as my Spanish still sucks. To dance was the only option but I'd just seen her do amazing jives and ballroom dances, my funky chicken just didn't compare! And then a new song started playing, it was that crappy local Andean music. How can anyone dance to that? I stood there like a startled rabbit stuck in headlights. My heart pounded, I breathed heavily, I went light headed. I think they call it a panic attack. Then an irrational thought flashed through my mind, "It's all futile." I backed down, gave in and stammered, "Lo sento pero no gracias." (Sorry, but no thank you.) She walked away.

We soon left to visit the club I was at last night. It was also dead and Chris started to fall asleep on the table until an off duty Police officer advised us to leave for our own safety!? We called it a night, although I went to Mamma Africas for last orders at 04:30.